"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
