is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
OPIZZABONMYDICK
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
