ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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