He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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