How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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