Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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