I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
