bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
