1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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