Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
