Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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