I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
