fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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