can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
