I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
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