Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
