I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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