Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dicks are not precious.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
