i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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