we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
