I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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