i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
