we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
