Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
