is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize