? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
