Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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