garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Where did you get a picture of my penis
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
