Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
