Yo dont text me then not text me
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
