I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
