she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
