it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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