i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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