I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
