Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
