so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Randomize
