remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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