whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
