If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
