Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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