I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
