Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
