my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Two words: blizzard sex
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
