I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
