Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
