There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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