I think I died a long time ago.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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