I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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