my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I had to cum in my sink.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
