Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
