so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I want to fling myself into the sun
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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