If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
