Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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