YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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