I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize