you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
