Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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