Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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