My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you win again, gameday.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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