I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
