is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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