Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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