im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
