You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
